We do it for the love....
Busting up parties!!! Oh, excuse me, “documenting incidents.” There is nothing more that I hate than entering someone’s apartment when shit is going down usually. I can say that in my experience the best way to make an RA feel guilty is to be nice, and helpful when he is breaking up your party. When you genuinely realize that the RA doesn’t really want to be there, in fact, chances are he was already sleeping (cause we have no life), watching America’s Next Top Model (cause we have no life), or working on homework (cause we have no life), it goes a long way to make it feel like the 3rd world. Instead of greasing our palms with a 20 just be nice works almost* as well.
Then there are the times when it goes poorly. That is when I have to be a prick, and my prick is responding to your prickishness, and the rule of pricks is that there can only be so many, cause otherwise they cross swords, and fights break out, and we have all seen Troy so we don’t want that. Things I have heard and some back-story on the event. Ranked in no particular order, although some I did enjoy more than others.
Me: “are those bottles of rum under the couch?” – note I never really said this, just kept this on the inside.
Them: “We promise that we have nothing under the couch.”
Heh, why did you even bring it up? God I loved my residents last year, there was some drama, some parties, I resisted interfering as much as a I could and when I had to I kept them out of trouble as I could.
Me: “Were you guys smoking”
Him: “no” whilst shaking his head, he still has the acrid pot smoke in his lungs, I wait until he can’t hold it in anymore, 20 seconds pass as the pain for him increases, I just kinda look sorry for him. He capitulates and exhales a big hit of smoke. I do my best not to laugh, A for effort kiddo.
Me: knocking on door, sees someone come up to the peephole.
Her: “FUCK!!!! (At the top of her lungs mind you) It’s the RA, hide everything, John put that down, someone open the windows.”
This is a recurring experience, seriously guys, we can fucking hear you through the door, it makes us laugh soooooo hard. This one happens all the time.
Her: “Could I get a guest pass?”
Me: “Um, is that a beer in your hand?”
Her: “No….”
Me: “I didn’t know Corona made other things.”
Her: Looking at half empty bottle of Corona “Oh this thing?”
Me: “Look, could you just throw it out, you’re not allowed to consume alcohol in the public areas of the building.”
Her: “No way, I am not throwing out my beer.”
Me: “…”
Yes this happened, yes I didn’t know what to do, I just wanted to look at her, and be like, “tell your father thank you for the library.”
These are conversations, among other things I have been offered money (not enough), “favors” (gross), been told “but we’ve hung out before” (not true), “can you pretend you didn’t see” (some things you just can’t unsee), “do you have to write it all down” did you have to tell me to fuck myself? It goes on. Basically we get shit on, a lot, by the residents, by our bosses. Rough, but it does make for some fun times.
Then there are the times when it goes poorly. That is when I have to be a prick, and my prick is responding to your prickishness, and the rule of pricks is that there can only be so many, cause otherwise they cross swords, and fights break out, and we have all seen Troy so we don’t want that. Things I have heard and some back-story on the event. Ranked in no particular order, although some I did enjoy more than others.
Me: “are those bottles of rum under the couch?” – note I never really said this, just kept this on the inside.
Them: “We promise that we have nothing under the couch.”
Heh, why did you even bring it up? God I loved my residents last year, there was some drama, some parties, I resisted interfering as much as a I could and when I had to I kept them out of trouble as I could.
Me: “Were you guys smoking”
Him: “no” whilst shaking his head, he still has the acrid pot smoke in his lungs, I wait until he can’t hold it in anymore, 20 seconds pass as the pain for him increases, I just kinda look sorry for him. He capitulates and exhales a big hit of smoke. I do my best not to laugh, A for effort kiddo.
Me: knocking on door, sees someone come up to the peephole.
Her: “FUCK!!!! (At the top of her lungs mind you) It’s the RA, hide everything, John put that down, someone open the windows.”
This is a recurring experience, seriously guys, we can fucking hear you through the door, it makes us laugh soooooo hard. This one happens all the time.
Her: “Could I get a guest pass?”
Me: “Um, is that a beer in your hand?”
Her: “No….”
Me: “I didn’t know Corona made other things.”
Her: Looking at half empty bottle of Corona “Oh this thing?”
Me: “Look, could you just throw it out, you’re not allowed to consume alcohol in the public areas of the building.”
Her: “No way, I am not throwing out my beer.”
Me: “…”
Yes this happened, yes I didn’t know what to do, I just wanted to look at her, and be like, “tell your father thank you for the library.”
These are conversations, among other things I have been offered money (not enough), “favors” (gross), been told “but we’ve hung out before” (not true), “can you pretend you didn’t see” (some things you just can’t unsee), “do you have to write it all down” did you have to tell me to fuck myself? It goes on. Basically we get shit on, a lot, by the residents, by our bosses. Rough, but it does make for some fun times.
posted by Godot at 5:51 PM
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