Catholic School Blues
I went to a Catholic grade school and Jr. High. My dad went to the same school, quite frankly so did my grand dad. My best friend Ck and I would get into arguments over if we were to have kids would they go to that school. (Presuming of course we somehow managed to be in Wyoming.) My standard argument was along the lines that I thought that the quality of education was on par with the public schools, but that the environment was smaller and more intimate. I wouldn’t trade my experience there for anything and would want my kids to have the same experience that I did.
She thought that the school was somewhat elitist, and that she wouldn’t want her kids having advantages others wouldn’t have and advantages that she might not have had growing up. I respected her so much for this view. She is now in MedSchool and when she graduates she is going to be a phenomenal doctor; with whomever she raises a family with she is going to be able to give her kids a comfortable lifestyle, essentially she is not going to ever have to say no. For me this is the definition of wealth, not having to say no to your kids, not spoiling them per se, but if they deserve what they earn, being able to allow them to fulfill to their full potentials. Whether this means being able to give a talented child singing lessons to develop his voice, allowing a talented athlete to play on a traveling team, or to let your children go to the college that they want to attend.
Only recently have I discovered the reconciliation between these two dichotomies. On one hand you don’t want to have to say no to your kids for things that they have earned, but as well, you as a parent, do you want to make choices for your children that parents may not be able to make even if there is a viable public option? An abstract example would be I am buying clothes for someone, all she needs is a t-shirt, Hanes Beefy T? Or a J.Crew undershirt. 3 for $10 or 1 for $16? Sometimes I feel like my parents bought be J.Crew undershirts for my education when all I probably needed was Hanes Beffy T’s.
I caught so much grief as a child for my upbringing. Both parents are internists, (even though my mom didn’t begin practicing until I was 13) I was always the doctor’s kid in school, people would poke fun and my peers would be downright mean. I tried to make myself as normal as possible and to stick out as little as possible. I kept a low profile. Ironically I choose to be on stage in the spotlight for my profession. The inflection that this caused on me from my youth led me to have a double personality. I have a hard, teaked outer shell impervious to emotion if I so wish, I had to have this to survive the barbed insults, stuffing my dance shoes into my soccer bag, or making my mom promise not to tell anyone that I was going to dance class and that if she did then I would not talk to her again.
As a result of this few people know me, retrospectively even my best friend Ck would have only caught glimpses of this part of me. I wish I had been more open and shared this with her when I had the chance. I guess that would be why we learn from relationships.
She thought that the school was somewhat elitist, and that she wouldn’t want her kids having advantages others wouldn’t have and advantages that she might not have had growing up. I respected her so much for this view. She is now in MedSchool and when she graduates she is going to be a phenomenal doctor; with whomever she raises a family with she is going to be able to give her kids a comfortable lifestyle, essentially she is not going to ever have to say no. For me this is the definition of wealth, not having to say no to your kids, not spoiling them per se, but if they deserve what they earn, being able to allow them to fulfill to their full potentials. Whether this means being able to give a talented child singing lessons to develop his voice, allowing a talented athlete to play on a traveling team, or to let your children go to the college that they want to attend.
Only recently have I discovered the reconciliation between these two dichotomies. On one hand you don’t want to have to say no to your kids for things that they have earned, but as well, you as a parent, do you want to make choices for your children that parents may not be able to make even if there is a viable public option? An abstract example would be I am buying clothes for someone, all she needs is a t-shirt, Hanes Beefy T? Or a J.Crew undershirt. 3 for $10 or 1 for $16? Sometimes I feel like my parents bought be J.Crew undershirts for my education when all I probably needed was Hanes Beffy T’s.
I caught so much grief as a child for my upbringing. Both parents are internists, (even though my mom didn’t begin practicing until I was 13) I was always the doctor’s kid in school, people would poke fun and my peers would be downright mean. I tried to make myself as normal as possible and to stick out as little as possible. I kept a low profile. Ironically I choose to be on stage in the spotlight for my profession. The inflection that this caused on me from my youth led me to have a double personality. I have a hard, teaked outer shell impervious to emotion if I so wish, I had to have this to survive the barbed insults, stuffing my dance shoes into my soccer bag, or making my mom promise not to tell anyone that I was going to dance class and that if she did then I would not talk to her again.
As a result of this few people know me, retrospectively even my best friend Ck would have only caught glimpses of this part of me. I wish I had been more open and shared this with her when I had the chance. I guess that would be why we learn from relationships.
posted by Godot at 5:44 PM
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