Halloween

Needless to say, Halloween is around the corner. This “holiday” holds a special place in most men’s hearts. It is the perennial holiday where college girls catch no grief for dressing like sluts. Although at Fordham , let’s face it, there are more that would enjoy the sluts of the ass-less chap variety, than the “innocent schoolgirl.” If only I had ass-less chaps….

Not to digress, my Halloweens as a child were interesting. My mom had to design her costumes to fit over a snow-suit. I was the Michelin man more than once (3 times actually). And when I wasn’t selling tires I was Chewbacca, with my siblings fleshing out the rest of the clan. My older brother was Han Solo, he always got the hotties, Joe, “you suck.” My younger brother got to be Luke, and the force is still with him, on top of that he always beat me at swords. John you kick ass. My sister Laura was Leia , and still is a princess. Which left my baby sister to play Yoda, and quite frankly she still is smarter and more kick ass than all of us combined. Of course I got to be the lame ape-man wondering around like a drunk ET cause I couldn’t see out of the mask. But at least I was warm.

This year, I will be babysitting on Halloween. Halloween in the city is different. I get to take this couple’s kids trick-or-treating through their building. And if they behave, we can go to the building next door. I have been told that they are going to go as Batman and Robin. Of course, I capitulated, and Alfred will be escorting these two superheroes on their rounds of mischief, mayhem, and candy gathering. Probably wishing on the inside that he could partake, waddling in a Michelin suit, or stealing his brother’s light saber to take a swing at Han Solo’s head. Someday when I have kids I will look at my little Luke and be like, Luke I am your father, stop throwing snowballs at Leia.