Thursday, December 29, 2005

Poskets in the Carrito

So, I have an uncle (don’t we all?) that is married to my Aunt (shit … we all know where this is going). They have a house, and a couple of dogs, no kids, she’s a woman, he’s a man… ok, enough with the obvious things.

A couple of summers ago my younger brother and I embarked on a multi-generational road trip to assist in their move from Boston to Omaha where she landed a job as a professor in theology at Creighton. Subsequently, he is a teacher now at a private school in Iowa a couple of miles away. All asides aside, there was a multigenerational road trip that was done right. We would drive about 4 hours a day, then fuck around. We saw the Rock and Roll hall of fame, Gettysburg, largest ball of twine in the world, it was good times, and through this whole time I gained an education in British 80’s pop invasion. To say the least, it was a life changing experience.

So the uncle calls me on Christmas day, and asks to speak to my sister who goes to school in Omaha, requisite shit is handed out for ditching me, and I get the phone back. He asks how Christmas was, we make small talk, then he turns into the uncle that I expect him to be.

He asks if I know of this thing called “facebook” reluctantly, I admit that yes, I am a member, and yes I waste wholly too much time stalking people on it. Well, he goes on saying how it is great that all of these college kids seem to have a contest as to who can get drunker and do something stupider, then take a picture of themselves to show it off to the world. Seems to me like he was all to familiar as to how this racket works out… he goes on to pontificate how it’s great how college kids think it is so great to have such a flagrant external personality, but you don’t get an idea about who they are on the inside (perhaps he should check out MySpace … I mean, Rupert Murdoch’s all about buying companies that allow personal, intimate, thoughts to be expressed through a pervasive electronic medium without any corporate influence…)

He is going to start a facebook account, using my aunt’s email of course, with her permission, I doubt. But his goal is to create a facebook profile in which allows people to get to know my uncle on the inside. And pray, how is he going to accomplish this? Why by posting pictures of his most recent colonoscopy, a squeaky-clean look at the real inside of the Uncle M_____ what more expresses the truth of a man than a clean chute?

So my friends, once again, you gain some insight into the weird and delusional family of this wandering student.

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