Degrees of Awesome
Alright, a ground rule, Say it to yourself, “you can’t be aweso … without ME.” HAH, that never gets old; ok it does, and just did. I apologize. But seriously there are different degrees of awesome of which I now must go into detail.
Degree numero uno: simply awesome, which is akin to “sweet” “ok” “or alright that sounds fine.” This is the most general level of awesomeness. Use it liberally, but not to liberally, this awesome is like putting on lotion after a shower, too much and you end up with white stuff all over and you can’t rub it in and it can just be a mess.
Degree numero two: pretty awesome, pretty awesome is awesomer than awesome. Although some may see the modifier as “pretty” as less than awesome, by adding the qualifier it increases the awesome quotient by one and three quarters. Things that are pretty awesome: getting a free beer at a bar cause your first one exploded and foamed over, free pizza, hearing a homeless man bitch out someone for asking for change for a 20, that would most definitely pretty awesome. If he pulls down his pants and moons her as she walks away that would be the next level of awesome.
The third one: super cool rad awesome phatness, SCRAP!, which I would never say, but it sounds pretty sweet. I would most definitely use, pretty fucking sweet, or the most awesomest thing ever, or in the event of a TNMT flashback: Bossanova. This level of awesome should be used most judiciously. Like if you had to put Icy Hot on your groin, too much … and well you get the picture. No one needs Icy Hot on the gooch.
Degree numero uno: simply awesome, which is akin to “sweet” “ok” “or alright that sounds fine.” This is the most general level of awesomeness. Use it liberally, but not to liberally, this awesome is like putting on lotion after a shower, too much and you end up with white stuff all over and you can’t rub it in and it can just be a mess.
Degree numero two: pretty awesome, pretty awesome is awesomer than awesome. Although some may see the modifier as “pretty” as less than awesome, by adding the qualifier it increases the awesome quotient by one and three quarters. Things that are pretty awesome: getting a free beer at a bar cause your first one exploded and foamed over, free pizza, hearing a homeless man bitch out someone for asking for change for a 20, that would most definitely pretty awesome. If he pulls down his pants and moons her as she walks away that would be the next level of awesome.
The third one: super cool rad awesome phatness, SCRAP!, which I would never say, but it sounds pretty sweet. I would most definitely use, pretty fucking sweet, or the most awesomest thing ever, or in the event of a TNMT flashback: Bossanova. This level of awesome should be used most judiciously. Like if you had to put Icy Hot on your groin, too much … and well you get the picture. No one needs Icy Hot on the gooch.
posted by Godot at 5:39 PM
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