Moday Blues and Blacks

Two days of Modern. Day one I was at an advantage, I was one of a handful that had demonstrable Graham and release technique. I wasn’t allowed to get past with petty mistakes, a non-squared spiral, tilted pelvis, I am a firm believer that being held to a higher standard bodes well for me. Today was an easier day. We had modern class this morning, but this afternoon reminded me of Jury Exams. We were taught very divers 32 count segments of choreography and asked to perform them, after only seeing them once. It was stressful. Even right now, as I am finished I feel like I just want to cry. My nerves are shot. I don’t think I could imagine a more taxing experience to go through. We started with 16 counts, and worked our way up to 96 counts, given only one chance to see the choreography with about half of them being from tape. And then we had to do it for the panel.

I saw Ck last night, it was sufficiently weird, and she said some things that have stuck with me through today. I worry about context and wanting clarification so I have done my best to put them in the back of my head and not let them make it up to the front of my psyche. We have plans to meet up this afternoon and I will search for clarification and closure. I still can’t get the thoughts of this afternoon’s process outside of me. It was traumatic; I have learned a new skill for how to torture/audition people if I ever find myself in that position.

I am still rocking on the Seattle vibe. I am genuinely serious about moving here. It’s a place I could dig, and I don’t think I would have a lot of trouble getting a well paying survival job making enough to support myself if I don’t get the apprenticeship. The times that I have gone out I have had good conversations with bartenders and chefs and have received favorable interest. More to follow later