happy V.D. (now get some cream for that ...)

When Ck and I were together we only got to spend Valentine’s Day in the same city once. It was one of the hardships of being in a long distance relationship. But there is a serious upside to not having to place that much value in a holiday through which I really don’t see a point. I liked to think of myself as a boyfriend who would send flowers for a small thing like it being the third Thursday in October. Or an email in the middle of the week because a voicemail was just a little too regular (isn’t that a great surprise to open your inbox ad find something that doesn’t fit with the penis enlargement and pyramid schemes?).

Once again I am going to find myself in the same city as Ck this Valentine’s Day, but for my own purposes. The extended break that she and I have been on has been good for me. I have shed so much of my bitter feelings of rejection and resentment. I am going to be there for a weeklong audition workshop … and I honestly can’t wait to get started on it. I have been dancing so well and feeling so good about myself that I am radiating confidence. I feel as much as this being I auditioning for Seattle, Seattle is auditioning for me. Is this a city that I can live in with the chance of seeing Ck being relegated to a chance passing on a bus? Time will tell, but it will be good for me to make that judgment. We have decided to meet up at some point this trip, but for me, that must be after I have passed my judgment on the city, and assessed myself.

I am excited/nervous for things to start. A bit like the first time I swam the 1500, you have to line up your counter, you don’t want your goggles to be too loose/too tight, you want your suit to fit well. There are many things that could go wrong this week and I have never had an audition that lasted this long.

Again friends have commented that I have grown up, in a sense I feel that way as well, but it’s a test of what grown up me really is. I have been somewhat cacooned as I have been working on myself and this is a chance to see how well wind-tested I am, it’s (as I have learned) a process.

This is it for now, the plan being to keep friends and family updated, and to do more writing in general. I have kept myself hidden for far too long and my people have gone without defecation jokes for long enough.