Forgiveness

I was rightly accused about not talking about my relationship with Ck when it was getting better, and only blogging about it “here” when it was on the sour or in decline. I am sad to say that this was the case. I don’t think she reads this anymore since we are on the long break.

She and I never really took a break from being eachother’s orbit, and we have done as much since New Year’s. After much exasperation I can say that I am a better person for the break. I had been holding animosity and negative feelings, feelings of rejection and resentment that weren’t healthy for my general well-being. The break has brought me to peace with these feelings. They are processed and shed. What I have found myself to be left with are the nice feelings, the fuzzy feelings, and the good times.

As well, I am stronger person. By keeping those negative experiences present it was bringing down my personhood and wasn’t good for my emotional health. I find myself in Seattle now, and I am hanging out with some of the other dancers and I don’t feel guilty being flirtatious, or being me for that matter.

I talked to my baby sister about this the other day and have found that I am not sure if I would date Ck again. But now more than anytime I would be in a place where it would be possible at the very minimum. This is what forgiveness feels like.