If I was a grape ...

Deep topic, and a nerdy one at that … if you had to be one grape varietal, which would you be? Would you be a Cab Sav. Hitting everyone upside the head with your strong sense of fruit, high acid and pushy ways of getting to the front of a palate. Or perhaps, a Chenin Blanc or Sauvignon Blanc, light, fruity, hints of sweetness, somewhat coy and playing for more attention. Or maybe you saw Sideways and decided to believe in the “fuck merlot way of wine drinking.” Merlot is derided as easy to grow and cheap to produce, it’s wine manufactured on a huge scale and is the first kind of wine that idiot Americans lean how to pronounce correctly. (for all you shits out there who hate on Merlot … namely my boss, but you know who you are, why don’t you sell your car and buy an ’82 or ‘57 Petrus, or really anything from the Pomerol region. There is a very good reason why pretty much any trophy wine is based on the Merlot grape.) Maybe you also watched Sideways and learned the joys in the ode to Pinot Noir. “Oh I am sensitive to the world around me and have to be babied through all of my actions otherwise I turn out like sour Welches…”

Ok, right now I am the Gamay varietal, har har har, laugh it up chuckles. Gamay makes up 96% of Beaujolais wines. Particularly Beaujolais Nouveau …. Which is getting released in a couple of days, on someone’s birthday (the 17th….). But basically Beaujolais gets a bad rap. It’s a red wine, that should be slightly chilled, not a rose, but slightly chilled, and you gulp it, it’s a wine for drinking, not sipping and taking notes and swirling in your glass while hemming and hawing. I yearn to be simple, and quaffed. But for the right person, I want to be complex, and deep. There you have it. (Although part of me does want to be Pinot Noir, Sideways basically ruined that for me, but I have some serious respect for such a delicate wine that ranks as one of my most favorite as well as being the primary varietal in Dom Perignon. Think about it.)